On a slow quiet Saturday, my husband had graciously prepared and brought me breakfast in bed. He opened the curtains, which allowed me to take in God’s nature. After I finished eating, I opened my Bible and began to read. My thoughts began to run with the words, phrase by phrase, a conversation between the Word and me. I wanted to capture those thoughts, so I opened my laptop, copied and pasted the scripture portion. The scripture took natural breaks with flowing thoughts. No commentaries, no books, no formal studying. I simply sat with the words and gave permission to the Lord to speak into my thoughts. I typed, I reviewed, I edited, and finally I prayed. The prayer was where the Lord wanted me; it’s where He took me on this journey. In His presence. New discoveries. Deeper commitment. Being with Him.

Ezekiel 3:1-2 NIV

 And he said to me,

God wants to speak to me. How I wish that it would be an email or text or face to face conversation, but He does speak to me. His Spirit nudges me, the scriptures come alive, my siblings in Christ speak into my life. Thank you, Lord.

“Son of man,

Okay…let’s try something else – daughter of my father

eat what is before you,

I know that you only feed me good stuff; but I really don’t like peas or lima beans on my plate. But just like vegetables, am I resisting what has value because what I read may not be appealing to me? Your word sometimes leaves an uneasiness in my spirit.

eat this scroll;

Your scroll/your Word is good. I know that in my head. The words have given comfort, encouragement, discipline, vision. So why do I resist sometimes? I know that you would not call me without equipping me. I know that you will not leave me alone. I know that you are God and are trustworthy. I know these things; but, but, but…

then go and speak to the people of Israel.”

Ah, see. This is the difficulty. If I knew that the recipient would gladly receive and obey your word, it would be easy; but we both know that you are sending me to a den of hungry lions. Ouch! I tell myself that you are with me, that you will equip me, that you are trustworthy, but I really don’t enjoy being eaten alive.

But I do hear you saying to eat BEFORE speaking. Ouch! How many times does my tongue go flying before I have heard from you or your word? Ouch!

So I opened my mouth,

Okay, Lord. Here WE go. Your words, my voice. You have my back, right?

Oh, dear self, it’s not about me. It’s about being obedient to God.

Yes, I will obey. I do trust you.

and he gave me the scroll to eat.

I sniffed it – sweet or bitter?

I licked it – it’s not poison.

I nibbled at it – I must take the plunge.

I ate the whole portion that was given to me…and then I spoke.

The words are out, I spoke your words.

Prayer

Dear Lord, I know that you are speaking to me, may I be quicker than I am now to decipher your words and to obey. Deepen my hunger for your word, strengthen my ability to understand, and increase my readiness to obey. I really do want to eat, to feast upon your word. I want to digest it and get it deep into my entire being. I want to speak when you tell me to speak. Oh dear Lord, I need your help. Amen