I don’t know about you, but these last couple of months have taken me on an emotional rollercoaster in ways I don’t think I have ever before experienced. The biggest challenge for me is that every one of the vehicles that I have in place to help me through difficulties and challenges is not available right now.

I miss my dance classes and my friends in that class.

I missed the end of “Bible Study Fellowship” with my Group.

I miss meeting together in person with my Celebrate Recovery and Corps Families.

I miss the members of my family that I am accustomed to seeing often, but have been unable to visit lately.

I lament all of the scheduled events that had to be canceled, like Congress, Old Orchard Beach Camp Meetings, Star Lake Music Camp, and the Empowerment Conference.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the impact the George Floyd killing and the aftermath had on me.

Through it all, I have engaged in long periods of inner reflection and seeking a deeper connection with the Lord. I am seeking His wisdom and discernment as I try to stay focused on what is most important. I want my life to be more of a reflection of God’s love, grace, and mercy in my life and not a reflection of the vitriol of our world.

I am learning each day how to cope with COVID-19 and social and political unrest. In that process I pray my life reflects these words attributed to St. Francis of Assisi.

“Make me a channel of Your peace
Where there is hatred, let me bring Your love
Where there is injury, Your pardon Lord
And where there’s doubt, true faith in You

 Make me a channel of Your peace
Where there’s despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there’s sadness, ever joy

 Make me a channel of Your peace
It is pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life

 Oh Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.”

written by Envoy Pat Wood, Hartford Citadel, SONED, USA East